Tending the Ache
Tending the Ache: Grief at the Second Gate
A residential retreat at Samasati Sanctuary
Weaverville, NC
August 1st – August 3rd, 2025
“Seek not love, instead,
seek and find all the barriers within yourself
that you have built against it.”
-Rumi
There are places within us that have never known love—parts of ourselves we learned to cleave off in order to be accepted, fragments wrapped in shame, buried in silence, or held in contempt. These exiled aspects of our being often show up as addictions, depression, anxiety, a lack of aliveness and vitality, and other persistent aches calling for our attention.
At Tending the Ache, we will journey into what Francis Weller calls the Second Gate of Grief — the sorrow of the unloved and forgotten parts of ourselves. This gate speaks to the wounds of neglect, the absence of belonging, and the unmet needs that shape our sense of self. It is here that we tend to the ache of what we did not receive, creating space for healing and reconnection. Through expressive arts, ritual, and embodied practices, we will cultivate the medicine of compassion, gently welcoming back what has been lost. Drawing upon Internal Family Systems (IFS) and communal witnessing, we will soften the barriers to self-love, allowing warmth and acceptance to reach the places we have long kept in the shadows.
Join us in this sacred space as we listen, tend, and begin the slow work of reclaiming wholeness, while being held by the nurturing embrace of the Blue Ridge Mountains. This retreat center, a place that feels like home, offers an intimate and welcoming environment, perfect for the Second Gate’s deep and sometimes tender work with childhood wounds. Nestled on acres of beautiful land just outside of Asheville, it invites us to reconnect with the earth and our own roots, providing the grounding we need to heal the parts of ourselves that have been forgotten or shamed. With space for just 20 participants, this retreat offers an opportunity for personal transformation within a close-knit, supportive community, where compassion may flow freely and every voice may be heard.
Over the course of the weekend, we will explore:
• Personal and community ritual
• Breathwork and body-centered practices to deepen our trust in our emotional and body wisdom
• Therapeutic writing, inquiry, and small group work to assist in opening to our stories of loss
• The role of shame in grief and learning how to meet it with compassion
• Befriending our outcast and exiled parts, welcoming the fullness of our grief experience
• Practices to cultivate our capacity to be with our experience in a way that is spacious, curious, and heartfelt
As we practice the courage to be with the authenticity of our hearts, we enhance our capacity to embody a vibrant sense of aliveness and compassion. The beauty of this work is its capacity to expand into our communities and the world. This is a form of soul activism and what we are called to embody in this critical time.
“What we don’t transform, we transmit.”
– Richard Rohr
We will begin at 3pm on Friday, August 1st and conclude at 4pm on Sunday, August 3rd. To cultivate trust and containment, participation for the entire weekend is essential.
REGISTER HERE
What’s included
• Two highly trained trauma-informed facilitators, and two grief apprentice space-holders
• 2 nights lodging (at the residential rate)
• Locally-sourced meals: dinner on Friday, breakfast, lunch, and dinner on Saturday; breakfast and lunch on Sunday, plus tea and light snacks throughout the weekend.
For those local to the Asheville area, we highly recommend giving yourself the space to stay on location, to be more deeply held within the container we create in our “pop-up village.”
Pricing and cancellation policy
• $775 staying onsite / $575 camping onsite or commuting
Registration will close July 15 at 5pm or when the retreat fills to capacity.
We recognize that this retreat is priced higher than some of our previous offerings. Tending the Ache is an intimate, immersive experience designed for deep, tender work with the Second Gate of Grief. This retreat brings in various modalities, like parts work, to help soften barriers to self-love, allowing us to tend to the exiled parts of ourselves with care and compassion.
To support this depth of work, we’ve chosen a warm, home-like venue nestled in the Blue Ridge Mountains—a space that offers both intimacy and a sense of belonging. Additionally, we are partnering with a local business to provide nourishing, catered meals, so you can be fully supported throughout the weekend.
With a smaller group size of just 20 participants, this retreat allows for a more held and transformative experience. We deeply believe in the value of this offering and look forward to sharing this sacred space with you.
Scholarships: If attending this retreat creates a significant financial hardship and you seek a scholarship or work-study exchange, a form will be available soon. There are a few scholarship opportunities available at 25-50% of tuition. For scholarships, we prioritize applicants from historically marginalized communities, first responders, veterans, those in the helping professions, and students. Scholarship applications are due by May 31.
Cancellation Policy: When registering for our retreats and programs, we ask that you are crystal clear on your intentions and commitment and consider your reservation and payment as a wholehearted YES to being here. We understand that things can come up that interrupt plans and schedules, but we also know from experience that when we prioritize this sacred work, we will move heaven and earth to honor our grief’s calling. Spaces to work with grief in community and through ritual are rare in modern western culture. In our retreats, we seek to create a community of shared values and embodied respect for the preciousness of this work.
We do, however, understand that some things fall outside of our control, and to this end we offer the following:
A 50% refund if you need to cancel before May 31 (minus registration fees).
A 25% refund if you need to cancel before June 30 (minus registration fees).
Unfortunately, we are unable to offer refunds come July 1
“Healing comes
when we let ourselves be held
by the love we were once denied.”
– Unknown
About the location
This retreat takes place at the beautiful Samasati Sanctuary, a unique and magical venue nestled on ten breathtaking acres in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Weaverville, North Carolina, where winding trails lead through peaceful landscapes and shrines honoring various wisdom and contemplative traditions.
The closest airport to us is Asheville. Charlotte airport is 2 hours away and Greensboro airport is 2.5 hours away. We are happy to help connect folks who might be interested in carpooling from an airport or somewhere else in the region.
Lodging and Accommodations
Samasati offers a mix of indoor and outdoor lodging for up to 14 retreatants, including accommodations in the main house, a cozy cabin, a yome, and designated camping platforms. Single accommodations are very limited, and most rooms will be shared, with shared bathrooms. Retreatants have access to the whole house, which includes a shared kitchen and meditation sunroom, enhancing the warm, home-like atmosphere of the space. Guests are also welcome to unwind in the hot tub on the property.
Lodging options include:
• Two indoor rooms – one with two single beds; one with three single beds
• One indoor room with a queen bed, suitable for a couple or two close friends
• A private outdoor cabin with a single bed
• A yome with a full-size bed, suitable for a couple or two close friends
• Camping – two large wooden platforms can accommodate up to two tents each
The cabin, yome, and campers have access to an outhouse and outdoor shower, with the option to use the indoor bathrooms in the main house. Rooms are assigned on a first-come, first-served basis, considering both registration order and gender.
For commuters traveling from outside the Asheville area, there are several affordable Airbnb options in Weaverville.
Accessibility note:
Please be aware that the retreat space is in the mountains and includes uneven terrain on the land and stairs in the main house. Unfortunately, we are unable to accommodate those with mobility limitations that prevent navigating stairs or uneven ground. If accessibility is a concern, we invite you to explore our other retreats, which are held in more accessible locations. Feel free to reach out with any questions.
What to bring
• A water bottle.
• A journal and pen.
• Items for the grief shrine and altars of support that are sacred and symbolic for you.
• Yoga mat (even a blanket and special pillow for comfort, if easy to pack)
• Wear comfortable clothes and layers for when we are inside. Temperatures will be quite warm in late August. Please check the weather when you pack.
• Favorite snack(s) and any other creature comforts you may want to nurture yourself.
About your facilitators
Samantha DiRosa, MFA, RYT, is a university professor, yoga instructor, ritualist, and expressive arts facilitator based in Greensboro, North Carolina. She brings 20 years of facilitation and teaching experience in the realm of higher-education, alongside an artist’s sensitivity and depth of insight, to her work with groups. Having trained with Francis Weller, author of The Wild Edge of Sorrow, and Joanna Macy, author of Active Hope, she believes in the power of ritual and ceremony to transmute sorrow and loss into the healing of individuals, communities, and the Earth. Samantha’s beloved teachers also include Daniel Foor, Malidoma Somé, Martín Prechtel, and Linda Thai. She lives with her daughter and her pack of non-human companions in the Piedmont region of North Carolina, the occupied lands of the Keyauwee and Saura peoples. When she is not teaching, she maintains a small private coaching / consulting practice and spends time connecting with her Celtic and Sicilian ancestral roots.
To learn more about Samantha click here.
Summer Estes MA, LCMHC, is a lifelong student passionate about creating transformative spaces. She is a wife, mother, licensed psychotherapist, breath facilitator, Enneagram teacher, mystic, inquisitive seeker, intuitive healer, soul activist, and founder of Embodied-Intelligence. Summer integrates perennial wisdom teachings with contemplative, somatic, and mindfulness practices, engaging in the practice of inquiry as a student of A.H. Almaas Diamond Approach. She loves facilitating learning and healing environments where participants can connect with what is alive and authentic within.
With over 18 years of experience in leading workshops, groups, and retreats in the healing arts, Summer has served on the faculty of The Second Breath Center, a wisdom school in Greensboro, NC. She is drawn to embodied wisdom and has delved into teachings of embodiment experts, indigenous wisdom, and breathwork. Summer’s journey has been enriched by diverse teachers and writings of mystics from various traditions, shaping her understanding and approach to her work. Some of her teachers include, Francis Weller, Dr. Tara Brach, Malidoma Somé, Rev. Cynthia Bourgeault, and Dr. Gabor Mate.
To learn more about Summer click here and to read her statement on grief-tending click here.
REGISTER HERE
What past grief retreaters have said about our retreats:
"I cannot say enough about how powerful this experience was for me!! Hands down, it was the most powerful engagement of my entire life! Our culture deals with death/grief/loss/rage COMPLETELY WRONG and we, as practitioners, instructors, teachers, mentors, families, parents, etc must do our part to help spread the word that this experience (which we all have) doesn't have to be contained in such a negative, isolated, shameful space. I was definitely taught that this past weekend and now I'm telling everyone I know! "-AR
"It was a beautifully transformative experience for me. Summer and Samantha created a warm, loving, safe space. I am forever grateful for the insight I received and will integrate into my life. I felt loved and accepted by over a dozen people that I just met, and it feels like that is how the world should be. Everywhere we go, we should feel loved and accepted. I connected to some patterns and deep seated grief that are now in my awareness and I can observe them and work with them. I look forward to more retreats... oh and Haw River was the perfect setting. The food was incredible and the staff, warm and accommodating, and the surroundings so serene and full of life." -KP
"This retreat was so far outside of my comfort zone and I had no idea what to expect..I will be forever grateful that I took this leap of faith. My experience was absolutely amazing. My life has been changed for the better with the tools I took away from this weekend. There are not words to describe the love and bond I have with this whole group. Communal grief is an eye opening moment, one that I wish everyone in the world could have. Samantha and Summer are wonderful guides for this journey!" -AH
"Thank you for a truly outstanding retreat. The rich variety of ways you engaged us, your willingness to be vulnerable in our midst, and especially the way you trusted us to become a learning community for one another, was a great gift. You offered a very deep dive into a transforming pool and it seemed to me that all fifteen of us plunged right in!"-JB
"I’m so grateful for it. You created a safe pop-up village in which to explore parts of ourselves we may not feel comfortable with. I struggle with not feeling heard and seen. In that environment it almost felt as though that didn’t matter - that being being seen and heard was implicit and I was free to be myself without judgment." -RBH
"With grief the only way out is through. You can trust Summer and Samantha to guide you safely through the darkness and to bring you safely into a new way to tend and to companion your feelings of grief and loss. It's hard being a human. Feelings of grief and loss are best responded to in a safe and healing space. Summer and Samantha offer you this opportunity. Listen to your quiet inner voice and say "yes."" DM
"Samantha and Summer bring depth and breadth to the creation of a community of healing and transformation. A beautiful experience that helped me take a next step and to keep opening to the coming home to myself." TB
"I have never felt so cared for before in my life. The whole experience has helped me strengthen my capacity to be with difficulties. I don't feel so afraid anymore." -Annie
"Learning to ride the waves of grief without drowning or avoiding the waters of our collective sorrow has brought me to a deeper sense of aliveness and ability to stay present in the moment. This retreat provided the space I had needed for such a long time." - E.H.
"This retreat marked my second experience with Samantha and Summer's grief rituals. The days leading up to the retreat were filled with anticipation of returning to a safe space and loving community where my grief could land softly and be witnessed. As Samantha and Sommer often emphasize, the rituals of grief are deeply ingrained in our human nature. For me, embracing my grief is not only a vital part of my journey through loss but also a pathway to truly living life to its fullest."- TB
"Francis Weller said it so beautifully when he said “it was through the dark waters of grief that I came to touch my unlived life.” There is no other experience like profound grief, it connects us in a supernatural way that brings us back to our authentic selves. Rituals, such as this, create the opening for us to break wide open and let the light shine through."- Leigh
"This was a profound and liberating experience for me. I am so grateful to have this space and these practices. They are really a before and after moment in my journey." - E.
"This weekend retreat allowed me to be with and fully express my grief in community while held with love and support, and I was able to do the same for others." Lynn
"I am no stranger to the black river of loss that Mary Oliver writes about. Yet rarely have I had an experience that validated and acknowledged so deeply the yearning of the bereaved soul to unburden itself on the shores of that river. I am still processing this powerful weekend, but I feel that it was an honor and a gift to be a participant. As we chanted, I am beloved, beheld and known."- M. B.
"The experience of the grief retreat changed me in more ways than I can count. Being met in my depth by a whole community is a right of passage that I had not yet, up until the retreat, had access to, and therefore I actually did not really realize what I have been missing for 33 years of my life. Being immersed in the waters of this type of collective unlocked a felt sense of safety and belonging that I have been searching for as long as I’ve been alive. If you are hesitating to join this type of experience. I understand. But I can also tell you it's a gift that you will carry with you for the rest of your life if you decide to take the plunge." -Brianna
"Summer and Samantha's Grief retreat was everything and more than desired after reading Francis Weller's book; The Wild Edge of Sorrow. Don't hesitate to book, seriously! The retreat was warm, transformative, heart opening, all the things.... Our tears and joys felt cradled in community that is just so missing sometimes in our world."- Susie Cooper, LCPC
Covid policy
Masking is optional, but discouraged given the nature of this work where we all rely on non-verbal cues to communicate and find safety. We do not request vaccination or testing prior to arrival. However if you are symptomatic within ten days prior to the program start date we ask that you please ensure that you are not contagious before arriving. This is a self-monitoring agreement and we trust in your personal integrity. Thank you.
Our Statement on Diversity and Cultural Appropriation:
As facilitators, our intention is to create an inclusive space that honors all cultures and ethnicities. However, as white-bodied, cisgender women, we recognize the privilege and systemic advantages inherent in our identities. We acknowledge the racial lenses and gendered systems that have shaped our experiences and perspectives, understanding that they differ significantly from those of BIPOC individuals. We are dedicated to actively listening, learning, and unlearning, and we are committed to ongoing growth in this area.
In our work, we approach any rituals, songs, or practices from non-dominant cultures with deep respect and gratitude. They have been shared and gifted with blessings to aid in our collective healing. We are committed to acknowledging and honoring the sources of these practices, recognizing the responsibility that comes with engaging with them. May our collective grief cry serve as a catalyst for change and liberation, as we work towards dismantling oppressive systems and creating a world where all beings can thrive.
