Our Commitment to Each Other
To foster safe community and practice authentic relating, we agree to make the following commitment with you:
Assume positive intent
We practice being sensitive to others’ perspectives, feelings, and experiences. We practice noticing and letting go of judgement when it comes up within ourselves and towards others.
We practice approaching others from a place of curiosity when they act in ways we don’t understand. First, we inquire within: “How might it make sense from their perspective to behave this way?” Assuming positive intent is a powerful transformational tool we can all use.
When we show up in a curious way and seek to understand someone, instead of silently or overtly judging them, we give them space to inquire within themselves, make a shift, and show up differently.
Own Your Experience
We practice using “I” statements to take responsibility for our own feelings, thoughts, and perspective.
When we own our experience, we share what is true for ourselves in the moment, and we acknowledge that we cannot inherently know someone else’s experience.
Honor Yourself
We agree to honor our own emotional and physical needs, both internally and externally. We recognize that we have choice in what we share with others.
Give attention to our emotions and how they manifest in our body. We practice shifting from the cultural habit of focusing only on our ideas.
We can request confidentiality at any time – even retroactively.
It is OK to “pass” in any conversation.
Tears are OK and it does not mean anyone needs to be rescued.
Honor Others
We respect the needs of others for confidentiality and boundaries.
We practice curiosity and compassion when relating to others and seek to increase our awareness of our shared humanity and desire to learn from each other.
Refrain from "Fixing" and Advising
We are here to bear witness to one another’s experience, not to give advice or offer solutions.
To simply be present with someone is a great gift. Practice the art of openness and empathy, creating an environment where people can experience being deeply seen and heard.
Practice Presence
We set aside distractions for our time together.
We practice being attuned to our sense of self, emotions, body sensations, and thoughts, while listening to others.
We practice awareness and compassion as we hold ourself and the person who is sharing, and track the impact of their experience within ourselves.
As able, we are an active participant and co-creator of the group experience.
Ask for Support
You commit to ask for extra support from facilitator or group members when you are struggling. Often struggle is a part of our growth process and there is often an inevitable period of uncertainty and doubt as we begin to outgrow our old patterns and paradigms. You agree to seek support outside the group when necessary.
Listen Deeply
You listen intently to what is said and you tap into the feelings beneath the words.
As Quaker Douglas Steere writes, “To listen another’s soul into life, into a condition of disclosure and discovery may be almost the greatest gift we can offer another.”