Our Commitment to Each Other

To foster safe community and practice authentic relating,  we agree to make the following commitment with you:

Assume positive intent

We practice being sensitive to others’ perspectives, feelings, and experiences.  We practice noticing and letting go of judgement when it comes up within ourselves and towards others.

We practice approaching others from a place of curiosity when they act in ways we don’t understand. First, we inquire within:  "The story I am telling myself about this person is....." “How might it make sense from their perspective to behave this way?” Assuming positive intent is a powerful  tool we can all use.

When we show up in a curious way and seek to understand someone, instead of silently or overtly judging them, we give them space to inquire within themselves, make a shift, and show up differently.

Please note, this is not an invitation to excuse harmful or toxic behavior and boundary crossing. Please check in with Summer if you believe this is happening to you with another member in the group. Rupture and repair is an important part in any group container. We use the framework of "calling in" rather than "calling out."  Please see more on this below.

Own Your Experience

We practice using “I” statements to take responsibility for our own feelings, thoughts, and perspective.

When we own our experience, we share what is true for ourselves in the moment, and we acknowledge that we cannot inherently know someone else’s experience. We avoid getting on our "soap boxes," and drop into as much as possible the feeling tone of what is present and share from there. For example, instead of saying "Those horrible (fill in a political group you dislike) "  ," they are ruining our country." You might say instead, "I am angry and scared about what I am experiencing in our country and feeling overwhelmed by it."

When we get on a soap box, it can isolate others who have a different experience, but when we share our authentic feelings, it has more potential to create connection with others instead of distance regardless of their perspective.

Honor Yourself

We agree to honor our own emotional and physical needs, both internally and externally. We recognize that we have choice in what we share with others.

Give attention to our emotions and how they manifest in our body. We practice shifting from the cultural habit of focusing only on our ideas. 

We can request confidentiality at any time – even retroactively.

It is OK to “pass” in any conversation.

Tears are OK and it does not mean anyone needs to be rescued.

Honor Others

We respect the needs of others for confidentiality and boundaries.

We practice curiosity and compassion when relating to others and seek to increase our awareness of our shared humanity and desire to learn from each other.

Refrain from "Fixing" and Advising

We are here to bear witness to one another’s experience, not to give advice and offer solutions.

To simply be present with someone is a great gift. Practice the art of openness and empathy, creating an environment where people can experience being deeply seen and heard.

Practice Presence

We set aside distractions  for our time together.

We practice being attuned to our sense of self, emotions, body sensations, and thoughts, while listening to others.

We practice awareness and compassion as we hold ourself and the person who is sharing, and track the impact of their experience within ourselves.

As able, we are an active participant and co-creator of the group experience.

We commit to being in a distraction free environment when meeting on zoom and keeping our camera's "on."

Ask for Support

We commit to ask for extra support from facilitator or group members when we find ourselves struggling. Often struggle is a part of our growth process and there is often an inevitable period of uncertainty and doubt as we begin to out grow our old patterns and paradigms. We agree to seek support outside the group when necessary.

Listen Deeply

We listen intently to what is said and  tap into the feelings beneath the words.

As Quaker Douglas Steere writes, “To listen another’s soul into life, into a condition of disclosure and discovery may be almost the greatest gift we can offer another.”

Rupture and Repair

It is rare in the structure of Embodied Intelligence online containers that violations happen on a level that needs more structured attention, however if rupture happens that needs to be addressed for the emotional safety and integrity of a participant this is the model we follow.

We use a model called "Calling In Model"

  • Calling in means addressing harm or misalignment with curiosity, compassion, and a desire to stay in relationship.

  • It is usually done privately or in small, contained space, not in a public forum.

  • It invites reflection and accountability without shame or humiliation.

  • It assumes that people can learn, grow, repair, and realign with shared agreements.

  • It centers healing, connection, and transformation, rather than punishment.

How Calling In is different than Calling Out

  • Calling out publicly names harm or violation in a way that creates distance or separation.

  • It can be necessary when there is ongoing harm, safety concerns, abuse of power, or lack of accountability, but it is not our primary approach.

  • Calling out focuses on stopping harm quickly and signaling boundaries, whereas calling in focuses on repairing relationship and restoring trust.

Our Commitment

  • When someone experiences a violation we begin with a calling-in conversation rooted in care, transparency, and mutual respect.

  • We acknowledge the goal is rupture and repair—not perfection, but accountability held with compassion.

  • If calling-in efforts are not workable or safe, we may use calling-out or other boundary-setting practices as needed.

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